Has it come to this? Don’t let the TL dictate your relationships

*The Streets blare out* Has it come to this?!

Living in an age of social media and the #MenAreTrash era I have found myself lost, dazed and very much confused.

By nature, I’m a very sensitive person and wear my heart on my sleeve. I think this has always been a challenge, but whilst centuries ago women and men were professing their love (and heartbreaks) in sonnets and letters we are now taking to our Twitter time lines to tweet that men are trash or that “we only love our bed and our momma.”

It’s a sad state of affairs. I find myself double guessing and questioning my own feelings in relationships in fear that I’ll be a bad feminist or let the Slumflower down. I know that nobody should ever stay in a toxic or abusive relationship. But, what do you do when the lines are blurred, it’s not terrible but it’s not perfect, not the dream? Relationships aren’t supposed to be perfect surely? I mean we’re all human.

But our social feeds are rammed with celebs and influencers #couplegoals . You find yourself thinking “well her boyfriend takes her to Paris, mine doesn’t … is my boyfriend bad?”. And yet whilst we’re out here questioning our own relationships we are the first to tear apart celebrities for their choice of beau.

Yes, we millennials love to tear apart a couple. Cardi B, Nicki Minaj, the Love Islanders even Prince William and Princess Kate. Anyone and everyone’s relationship can get dragged through the mud. Forced to conform to an ideal that we can’t even replicate ourselves.

A thought that I have often is; if Beyonce can have relationship problems then it really is out of our control, our hearts and minds fail to conform to reason. Unfortunately, there are no rules or guidebook. The journey of love must be one ventured independently of our friends and family’s opinion. What works for Jane and John won’t necessarily work for you. And that’s ok. We must learn to find value in ourselves and the partners that we choose. If you want to stay, stay equally if you want to go, go don’t let social media or societal conventions tear you apart.

I feel at times I’m forcing a break up before it’s expiry date because I’ve been bombarded with “but will you marry him?”, “what are his job prospects?” type questions. Yes, these are valid but they aren’t pivotal. I really wish the questions society based relationships on were of emotional value and not status. “Does he/she make you happy?”, “Do you enjoy their company?”. These are the types of questions I’ll be asking myself in future relationships. Whilst, careers are important, until we’re sharing a mortgage it doesn’t compute with me.

Lets not prematurely cut off our emotions to please a feed of people who can’t figure their own lives out.

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