People are a***holes

People are arseholes. Yes, you read that right. Despite being sold the fairytale of adulthood (doing what you want, having a car, your own house, marriage, money?!) it turns out what you actually bought was taxes, horrific co-workers, stress and a disgusting amount of responsibility.

Teenage angst isn’t “just a phase”, it is a precursor for the nightmare to come; playground antics live on to the workplace, not everyone has your best interests at heart, many folks lack basic manners and life can sometimes feel like the opening to a Shakespearean tragedy. The Everybody Hates Chris theme tune has become the soundtrack of my life and everyday I fight the urge to do a 2007 Britney Spears, shave my head and become an icon.

The shock of adult life for millennials has left many of us bewildered and confused, why go to university and get saddled with debt when you could be a millionaire off of reality TV? Times are a changing and you no longer require a well to do family or first class education to become one of the rich and famous. The internet has opened up another dimension, selling the dreams of 1950’s Hollywood; it truly is the land of the free and home of the brave, where anything can happen.

Yet we are all still being sold (and selling) each other the caveman blueprint of marriage + money + kids  = success. Let me tell you as a creative who is near completing level 1 of this game (getting a degree) it is a solid 2 star and I would not recommend.

For the littluns looking for the next steps in life I say “take time and be free, hold on to your youth”. Our education system pumps out battery farmed scholars edged into university, and for some this is the right path. But it is not a one size fits all.

And for us oldies (because you’re supposed to know what your career path will be at 16), take a breather and invest into what you truly want. Life is too short to bend over backwards for an unforgiving system. If your dream is to be a tight rope walking, ukulele playing, stripper then I suggest you start practising and be the best.

At the tender age of 20 I feel that I have uncovered the secret guarded by adults. And that is that we don’t get anymore responsible or together as we get older, we are simply over grown children following an old handbook that is missing pages.

Yes, welcome to the real world and the sickening realisation that people are arseholes and you must fend for yourself. Now go forth my loves and live your #BestLife as a tight rope walking, ukulele playing stripper.


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